| MySpace is the new LiveJournal |
[14 Apr 2009|11:07am] |
Yeah, I talked all kinds of shit about MySpace, but whatever. I'm there.
www.MySpace.com/PureDeceit
Check it out... or don't. Not like I really care, anyways.... unless you're one of the people I care about. If that's the case, then check it out and add me.
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| Sickness.... |
[12 Dec 2007|05:08am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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Well, apparently there is some country-wide epidemic...
Really, I have no idea but I know that I'm sick. So are a few of my friends. I've been getting myself all fuckered up on cough syrup all yesterday and probably today. Work sucks ass; peak season sucks even more ass. Anyways... yeah, I'm a little drunk kinda already. Sooo... yeah.
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| Little Nate |
[09 Dec 2006|02:22am] |
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"I really hope the kattin doesn't poop because that'll taste so bad I'll be able to smell it." - Little Nate
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| A Diseased Mind |
[20 Jul 2006|12:48pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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Excerpt taken from Kazumi Tabata's 'Secret Tactics Lessons from the Great Masters of Martial Arts'
"A Bhuddist priest asked a higher priest, "What is the way?" The higher priest answered, "Your ordinary state of mind is the way." This expresses the state of mind in which you can remove disease by leaving yourself diseased, that is, by using your natural state of mind."
A fixed mind is diseased, quite simply. The disease is a state of mind that is rigid and fixed, in whatever situation. It is a disease even to be possessed by the idea of removing all such diseases. A saying, literally translated, states, "One has thoughts, and yet no thoughts; one has persistence, and yet no persistence." This means that fixing one's thoughts on expelling a disease is just another disease, or that even being possessed by the thought that your mind is unsound is such a fixed thought, and therefore a disease.
I'm trying to re-train myself to reach a state called "munen" or freedom from all thoughts. The only way to accomplish this is to have other thoughts. As one thought enters, it expells the previous and, in essence, they both are gone.
Yay for stress-relieif exercises!
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| Under New Managment |
[31 May 2006|02:30pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Washing Machine/Dryer |
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Valued Customer,
We appologize for any inconvience this may present, but the journal you are viewing is under new managment and will become friends-only access. Please leave your name and a brief message and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Again, we appologize for any inconvience this presents.
-Mgmt
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| Rawr |
[27 May 2006|03:15pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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Well, Memorial Day is on it's way, apparently. I just found out about that...
In other news, I'm tired and have been looking for trees since last night. Shit sucks.
In still other news, Heather is back from the hospital and amazingly enough DOESN'T hate me. I'm a little confused on how exactly that works, but I suppose I'll find out when I wake up with a knife in my chest.
Either way, I'm glad to be single again. So many reasons, but I'm sure that within a few weeks I'll be bitching about how I need some kind of love from someone. Oh well... it was for the best.
I was thinking about putting in some kind of "stay tuned" message, but I dunno when I'll get the time/effort/energy/content to update again.
I'm kinda busy/lazy/tired/boring recently.
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| Life is a funny thing.... |
[23 May 2006|12:08pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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Well, Heather is in the hospital still, I think. I had to have the police come and get her. (By the way, thanks a whole lot for nothing Linda. I'm lucky I didn't get stabbed while you were arguing with Zach.) She went fucking nuts yesterday and the cops took her to North Arrundle for an emergency Psych Evaluation. Hopefully they'll declare her ass insane and we can put her away once and for all. I'm just so tired of trying to keep her from doing stupid shit. I love her to death, she's my aunt, but enough is enough... and when someone shoves a couple knives in your face, that's usually enough.
The whole thing started with her telling me she was going to kill herself with a bunch of pills she'd picked up somewhere. She wrecked the television downstairs, tried to trap my grandmother in her own room with her, threatened me with like 5 different knives, tried to hit me with my grandmother's rotary-style hotel-type phone, tried to get Jimmy to come fight me... then I got tired of Zach telling me that nobody that was online would call the cops so I went to the neighbor's house and borrowed his phone, since Heather was so dead set on trying to get Jimmy on the phone. Grom and Avery left while I was next door and by the time I hung up the phone, the first of three cops was pulling in my driveway.
Once the cops got here, she tried to sweet-talk her way out of it by trying to turn the blame on Zach and I. "All this happened because my nephew has his buddy are staying here and my mother doesn't want him in the house." Of course the cops, having already talked to me, didn't believe her. Even if they did, that wasn't why they were called to the house. They put her in cuffs, dragged her from the back yard, and tried to put her into a cruiser. She tried to bite one of the cops twice, slammed her head into the cop car's hood, tried to jump off the side of the car while they were forcing her in, then finally got in the car and they sped off to the hospital.
I locked up the house, turned everything off, and went to Jaxies to get drunk. Between my breaking up with Linda the night before and me having to send Heather to the hospital, I needed to get drunk. It's kinda interesting how a box of white zin and a good friend to share hugs with can make you feel better. Oh well... just another fucking day in my shit-hole existence. Maybe Heather won't come back, but I doubt it. That lazy bitch always comes back asking for money.
So help me God, if she tries to threaten me with a knife again, I'm gonna knock her ass out. This time I just stood in her face until she realized she wasn't gonna do anything but threaten me. Next time I'm not gonna be nearly as nice.
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| w00t! |
[28 Apr 2006|11:52am] |
Damn I'm good.
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| Happy 4/20/06 |
[21 Apr 2006|12:23pm] |
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Yeah, I know, I know. I'm off by about 12 hours.... but I was way too stoned to type this last night. So, yeah, Happy 4/20!
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| WARNING: Not intended for the light-of-heart. |
[03 Apr 2006|02:03pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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music |
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Tool - Laterus |
] |
I havn't updated in a while now, so I figured it's about time I do so.... I felt like ranting last night, but I'll do it now.
Some things I hate:
- People who discriminate against "drug users". Espically when their spouse is/was a "drug user".
- People who think they're better/smarter/above (than) everyone around them. Get over yourselves.
- People who claim to be "nice", but are truly stuck up ass-holes. Reality calling- people HATE you.
- People who claim to be "friends", but are truly only out to make themselves look better. Reality calling- people STILL HATE you.
- "Responsible" people who are just stuck in the life they've made for themselves.
Think whatever you want about the previous statments. I don't really care what anyone thinks or if anyone cares. Sue me for slander if you're really that upset. Oh, wait, these are all MY OPPINIONS! HA!
I don't have a credit card. I don't have a cell phone. I don't owe any taxes. Hell, I don't have any bills whatsoever. At the same time, I'm far from rich.
I don't think, nor claim, to be better than anyone. I never have and probably never will. I'm just trying to live my life my own way. I'm trying to get the most enjoyment out of each and every day that I'm lucky enough to wake up to.
Unlike most people, I realize and accecpt that life is fleeting. Each human is only on this world for the blink of a cosmic eye and I intend to enjoy every moment of it. So what if the country I live in deems my lifestyle "wrong" or "sinful". I won't be loosing any sleep... I'm just happy I can wake up in the morning.
If I don't ask you for help, I apparently don't need it. If I don't ask for your advice, I apparently don't want it. If I don't ask for your friendship, I apparently don't like you.
Hopefully that will put some things into perspective for those of you out there.
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| Birthday! |
[04 Mar 2006|12:32pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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Happy Birthday to me!
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| Yet another realization. |
[27 Feb 2006|01:29pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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The sound of rats drinking. |
] |
I've come to the realization that I am completely filled with self-loathing... I hate where my life is and where it seems to be going. It's almost like I don't know what it's like to be happy anymore. Sure I may be content with certian things, but content is not happy and the things I am content with are far too few.
I was talking to a friend of mine and he related the following:
"According to Buddhism, there are three great realizations that all men must complete before they can continue on a path of truth. The first truth is that your existence is meaningless. You're a single person among billions, on a single planet among billions, in a single galaxy among billions, in a single universe among billions. So we're all basically nothing.
The second great realization is that you aren't meaningless...in fact, because you carry the same influence as any other creature or planet or star or galaxy...etc....that you're an equally powerful being. Every action you have changes the everything no matter how far away in an indescribable way."
He never got around to the third realization since the first two completely fucked up my head and made me feel even worse than when the conversation started....
I wish I had the balls to kill myself.
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| So.... |
[27 Feb 2006|12:11am] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
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music |
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NiN - Halo Thirteen - Track 3 |
] |
I've decided that I'm retiring. What does that mean? I don't know yet, but I'm gonna do it. Don't like it? Blow me.
Yeah... I'm in one of those off-the-wall moods again where I just type whatever comes to my sad, shallow little mind.
I've got no idea what I want in life anymore... the only things that really make me happy are waking up in the morning and occasionally getting high.
I need to find direction again... I need to find my purpose... I need to find my lighthouse.
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| New Year's! |
[02 Jan 2006|04:01pm] |
So, I went to Deleware for New Year's. Good times, in short. Spent the whole time down there high as shit... except for this lame ass party we spent about 2 hours at. Got to catch up with Ted, Derek McDougal, and Dave which are probably un-heard names to both of you who actually read this. Didn't do a whole lot of drinking, though.... I had a glass of sangria, 3 orange/vanilla jello shooters, and a glass of champagne. Smoked a lot of weed, but not much booze, which I was okay with. The glass of sangria had me a little buzzed for a few minuites before I ate a mouthful of pigs in a blanket. ;D
So yeah... good times, good weed, and good friends. I'll see you again soon, Ted!
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| Dreams have meanings, eh? |
[27 Dec 2005|01:15pm] |
So, last night I had a bizarre dream. Forgive any errors since I just woke up about 25 minutes ago, oddly exactly how much time it takes me to get dressed, pack a bowl, smoke it, and smoke two cigarettes.
I'm driving in my car (for those that don't know it's a 1989 dark blue Volvo 740 GL four door). I don't know how long I've been driving but I know that I picked up a black guy whom I've never met. The guy, instead of sitting in the passenger seat or back seats, is sitting between my door and myself somehow and insists on softly humming/mumbling old slave music. Traffic is really bad, but the lane I'm driving in is moving exceptionally fast, I'd say about 60-70 MPH. I finally take the time to figure out where we were, when I noticed the fast-moving lane was taking 2 lane ramp to another highway, which required me to pull over and look at a sign by a pond. According to the sign, I'm near the Mason-Dixon line between Maryland and Delaware, but still on the Maryland side by about 20 miles. Another sign by a bench at the pond tells me that crocodile fishing starts at 2 AM and ends at 6 AM while barracuda fishing starts at 4 AM, ends at 8 AM, and both are closed on the weekends. At the bottom of the time limit signs, in small letters, was printed the caption "HAHA". I look back at my car and all four of my doors are open, the black guy is gone, and I wake up as I walk over to investigate further.
Bizarre, no?
Discuss/deliberate/talk amongst yourselves. I don't put much faith into my dreams besides the thought that my subconscious and conscious are mingling with odd results... I rarely remember my dreams anyways.
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| X-Men? |
[11 Nov 2005|05:40pm] |
Apocalypse! Raised by Baal and craving world
domination, En Sabah Nur's only plan is to
destroy all on earth. Other-worldly powers of
intelligence, strength, and intuition,
Apocalypse will do everything in his power to
reach his goal of total annihilation.
Look ma! I'm evil!
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| A new month, a new outlook on life. |
[01 Oct 2005|05:44am] |
Heh. I wish it were that easy. I'm actually getting somewhat depressed, though I'm hoping it will pass quickly. I always get a little worried when I start getting depressed, which usually doesn't help. But, I'm trying to keep myself positive and happy. At least outwardly. No reason to bum everyone else out, right? As long as I look and act happy, then no-one is the wiser, except for you. Damn you for reading this... no, not really. I dunno... I just need to get a fucking job to get my mind off things, I think.
I took off my pants in front of Amy today. She freaked out and ran outside. The hairy guy just kept working on her laptop. And boy did that hairy guy get sweaty playing DDR. *Shudder* All... that... wet hair. UGH! I'm glad I'm not hairy like that. Yeah, I'm kinda hairy in certian places. *Ahem* We won't go there. But that guy... he was just... furry!
I wish I could just sleep sometimes......
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puredeceit's journal